


Dangan Ronpa Talentswap Comedy

by Junpompei



Series: Dangan Ronpa Talentswap Junpompei [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junpompei/pseuds/Junpompei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yasuhiro Hagakure is a freshman who is 21 and has to figure out why his friends get murdered</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Hope's Peak now kill each other

**Author's Note:**

> This is a comedy with death so like chill. I have always wanted to try a talent swap because it looks fun, but I'm not taking it seriously so have fun yo

I'm Yasuhiro Hagakure. I'm 21 years old and about to enter high school. The only reason I made it into hope's peak is on a raffle. All I have to do is do my work and I'm set for life. 

I walked in my first day the confidence of a billionaire, but when I walked in the school I blacked out. I remember waking up in a classroom alone. 

"What the frick frack?" I look around the classroom. I saw where the windows should of been, there were metal plates. On the board was a message.  
"Go to the gym. Well chalk boards have never lied to me before."   
As I walked around the school, it was like really big, there were bedrooms. Do I live here? Probably. Ah, the gym, lets hope that chalk board didn't point me in the wrong direction.   
I opened the door to see 15 other students. 

"Yo, it's another one." A boy with red hair said as he saw me.   
"Hello, what is your name?" A girl with white skin and an elaborate outfit asked me.   
"I'm Yasuhiro Hagakure. The dude who won in the raffle." I answered   
"Yo, name's Leon Kuwata. I'm the Ultimate Gambler." The red haired said. Gambler? That is how you got into this school? Isn't gambling just luck, anyway? Well I guess I'm here by luck. "Oh and this is Celestia Ludenberg, she's the Ultimate Writing Prodigy. She wrote that one romantic book." He said.   
"He is correct, and the book was called 'Love after Midnight', if you don't mind." Celestia said.   
"Nice to meet you two." I told them. 

The 3 of us walked over to the group. 

"You are late, you know. We have been waiting for a while." A girl who dressed pretty slutty. "Anyway, I'm Junko Enoshima, I'm the Ultimate Moral Compass."  
"You don't dress it, you must have a lot of self confidence to dress like that." I tell her. She begins to glare at me for some reason.   
"Junko please. Hello, I'm Mukuro Ikusaba, the ultimate fortune teller." A girl grabbing Junko's arm said.   
Before I could respond, another girl jumped to me.   
"Hiya! I'm Aoi Asahina! The Ultimate Wrestler! And this is Sakura Oogami." She said.   
"Watsup? What is your talent?" I ask her. Sakura was very different from Aoi. Aoi was kind of cute, but Sakura was... Why isn't Sakura the Wrestler...  
"I'm afraid I don't remember mine, I'm sure it will come to me." She told me in a rather deep voice.  
I walked over to a tall guy with the weirdest hair.   
"Hey, your hair looks like a frito." I told him.   
"It's a pompadour. Whatever, name's Mondo Oowada, nice to 'effin meetcha. I'm the Ultimate Fanfic Creator." He told me.  
"Whoa, you are a fanfic creator?" I ask.  
"Do you have a problem with it?" He says cracking his knuckle. I quickly walk over to the guy standing next to him.  
"Hey, I'm Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Baseball Player! I believe in Bold simplicity! Sports are fun and offer competition for athletes, but make sure academics remain your number 1 job!" I walk over to the little girl standing next to him.    
"Hey, you are pretty short. What is your name?" I ask the little girl.   
"Name's Chihiro Fujisaki, the Ultimate Gang Leader, nice to fucking meet you. If you say anything about my height, expect to walk around with one fucking eye tomorrow." She tells me.   
I quickly ran to the other group of people.   
"Hello Hagakure, I'm Kyouko Kirigiri. The Ultimare Programmer." At least she isn't threatening to stab my eye.  
"Hey, I'm Makoto Naegi, the Ultimate Swimmer. 'Sup?" Her short friend told me.   
"I'm Sayaka Maizono. You have probably heard of me. I'm the Ultimate Heir."   
"Nope never heard of you, but nice to meet you!" I said.   
"Hello Mr. Hagakure. I'm Hifumi Yamada, also known as the Ultimate Fashionista." A plump kid said.   
"Oh." I uttered.   
"I'm Byakyua Togami. The Ultimate Soldier." He didn't sound too thrilled about it.  
"I-I'm Touko Fukawa... The Ultimate Idol..." A girl with glasses said.   
"An Idol? You seem a little shy to be an idol." I tell her. She tried to respond, but before she could we were interrupted by a really annoying voice.   
  
"Heeeeeeeeey! I see everyone has arriiiiiiiiiived!" A black and white stuffed bear said from the stage.   
"Is anyone else seeing the bear talk?" Leon asked.   
"Welcome to Hope's Peak, I am your principal Monokuma."  
"What's going on?" Mondo asks.   
"Stop asking questions and listen, jeez. So you have been selected to attend Hope's Peak, and you 16 teenagers are trapped in here forever!" The bear answers.  
"What the fuck are you talking about." Fujisaki said.   
"Do you want to leave?" Monokuma said.   
"Absolutely!" Hifumi yelled.   
"The only way to leave, is to kill someone."   
"W-What?!" Sayaka yelled.   
"What the frick frack snick snack do you mean kill each other?!" I yelled.   
"If you wanna leave, ya just gotta kill someone." Monokuma said.  
"No. I'm Sayaka Maizono, the heir to the Maizono family! You will release me at ONCE!" Sayaka walked over to Monokuma and grabbed him.   
"Put me down! Violence to me will be punished!" Monokuma yelled, trying to get released from Sayaka's grip.   
"I said, let me out of here!" Sayaka said choking Monokuma.   
"You asked for it." Monokuma said as a beeping began.  
"What?" Sayaka said.   
"Maizono! Throw the Bear-!"  Sakura tried to run and grab Sayaka from the bear, but it was too late. Monokuma's countdown ended, and he blew up in front of Sayaka's face. After the explosion, I tried to settle down and collect myself. All I could see was Sayaka on the ground covered in ash and blood. And she was missing her arm.   
"Oh my..." Celestia said.   
"Holy shit!" Leon said backing away.  
"Well that should be a warning. Violence against the principal will be punished. So remember, if you want to leave, you have to kill." Monokuma said over the loudspeaker.   
"Is Sayaka... dead?" I ask.   
"I'm afraid she is..." Sakura said, feeling for her pulse.  
"This has to be a F-Fucked up dream, right?" Fujisaki asked.  
"Well... There is nothing we can do." Sakura said trying to calm down the group.  
"Why don't we explore the school. If we are stuck here, we might as well see what we have." Leon said.   
"I agree with fire-crotch." Fujisaki said.   
"Whoa." Junko said. 

* * *

 

"So, I went with Leon and Hagakure to explore the kitchen." Celestia said.   
"We got enough food to last a few months. Plus they get restocked everyday." Leon continued.   
"I ate a few apples. So it's edible." I chipped in.

"My sister and I explored the dorms. A room for each of us has been set up." Mukuro said.   
"Each room is soundproof. So if any of you perform unspeakable acts, no one can hear it." Junko said crossing her arms.

"Hifumi, Sakura, Fukawa, and I found 2 rooms are closed off." Aoi said.  
"There is a trash room, along with a laundromat." Hifumi said. 

"Mondo and I f-found a student store." Fujisaki said.  
"You can find different snacks, knick knacks, and other things." Ishimaru said. 

"Naegi and Kirigiri, did you find anything?" I asked them.   
"The 2nd floor is blocked off. As well another floor of dorms." Kirigiri said. 

"So no kind of hole we can escape with? Damn." Mondo said.   
"Are any of you guys like, going to do it?" Naegi asked.   
"What do you mean?" Togami asked.   
"Kill each other." Leon answered.   
"Have any of you see someone die?" Junko said.   
"I have. Being a soldier I have killed people." Togami answered.   
Everyone began to stare.  
"Relax, I don't want to murder... At least anymore." Togami said.   
"Could everyone please report to the gym." Monokuma said over a loudspeaker.   
On the way to the gym I began to think. Could this possibly be legal? We saw someone die in front of us. In quite a brutal way at that... It also occurred to me I can literally die at any minute.

"So I noticed all of you are still alive. Guess I have to give you a little... Incentive." Monokuma said standing in front of a table with 15 glasses.   
"What is this, vodka?" Fujisaki asked.  
"It's water, jesus." Monokuma said.   
"So you want us to drink this?" Kirigiri asked.   
"Yep, no catch." Monokuma said.   
"How can we trust you." Leon said.   
"Leon just do it. We have nothing to lose." Aoi said drinking the water.   
"Says you." Leon downed the glass. Everyone followed after. It tasted like normal water.   
"So what was the point of this?" Mondo asked.   
"Well, this is a motive to kill. One of the glasses had a little extra ingredient. One of the glasses gives the drinker the drive to kill." Monokuma said.  
"What?! YOU SAID THERE WAS NO CATCH!" I yelled.  
"So one of us is going to kill because we drank this water?" Togami asked.  
"I don't buy it." Hifumi said.  
"Well it is almost night time. You bastards better get to bed. The water system shuts down in an hour, so hurry off!" Monokuma disappeared.   
"This bear can't be serious." Fujisaki said.  
"Just to be safe, maybe we should have like a rule." I said.   
"What kind, Hagakure?" Leon asked.   
"Like, maybe no one leaves their room at night." I said.   
"That's not a bad one." Togami said. 

* * *

 

Everyone left to go to sleep. I was grabbing some midnight snacks when I saw Fukawa come in the kitchen.   
"Wazup Fukawa?" I said.   
"H-Hey Hagakure." She said.   
"So if you are an idol, why do you stutter a lot?" I ask.   
"O-Oh. I don't know. Whenever I get on that stage, it just feels fantastic. But when I'm not I feel ugly." Fukawa said.   
"You aren't ugly." I said.  
"Don't butter me up." She said.  
"I'm 21. I have been held back so many times, people wonder how I'm not home schooled." I said trying to cheer her up.   
"Wow, Hagakure, you are kind of sweet." Fukawa left.   
I went to bed as well. 

* * *

 

The room was as basic as you can get. A simple bed, some drawers, a bathroom. It was better than what I had at home. 

"Hagakure wake up!" Junko yelled from outside my door. I go to the door and open it.  
"Sorry, I overslept. What is it?"   
"You overslept, you and Touko, please head to the dining hall." Junko said. I did as she told and met up with everyone at the dining hall. 

"Hey Hagakure, watsup!" Leon said waving to me.   
"Hey dude, am I the only one that's late?"   
"No, that Idol chick isn't here either." Mondo said, reading one of those Sailor Moon Manga.   
"Guys, Touko won't open her door." Junko said entering the hall.   
"Maybe she's dead." Togami said.   
"Shut it!" Aoi yelled. "Hagakure come with me, we will go get her." Aoi said.   
"So Aoi, you seemed pretty steamed back there." I said trying to start a conversation.   
"Togami has been making suggestions that you and Touko are dead, and I can't stand them. Touko please open up." Aoi began knocking on the door. I pull the handle and open the door.   
"Unlocked?" We explored the room and found no sign of Touko.   
"Hagakure what is this pink stuff." Aoi pointed to some hot pink stuff on the nightstand.   
"Is that... Blood?" I said.   
"Blood? It look's like there is a trail...?" Aoi said. The trail went into the bathroom. I opened the door, and immediately everything went white, all I could hear was Aoi's screaming. When everything came back, I saw that someone had stabbed Touko in the chest and she was lying face down in the bathroom.  
"N-No!" Aoi said trying to shut her eyes.  
"Aoi, go tell everyone!" I motion for her to run.  
After a few minutes everyone came back to see the dead body.  
Sakura was the only one who walked toward the body. "She's dead."  
"No way, man..." Leon said with a pale face.   
"A body has been discovered. Please investigate and fins as much evidence as possible. After a certain amount of time, a trial will be held." Monokuma said.  
"Investigate?" Celestia asked.  
"Trial?" Naegi asked.   
"I think, we have to figure out like who killed her." I said.  
Everyone agreed. A few people decided to explore around the outside of the room, some stayed in the room. 

"Well for starters, it looked she was stabbed twice." Sakura said.   
"Hagakure and I found a blood trail from the nightstand to here." Aoi said.   
"The knife is still lodged in her back." Leon said.   
"What is that on the wall." I ask.   
"It looks like, uh, Chinese symbols." Leon said.   
"Ah we are American." I said.   
"I will write it down. It looks like 脂肪." Sakura said.  
"Hagakure why don't you see what the others are doing." Celes said.  
"You got it!" I left the room. I found Fujisaki right outside the room.   
"Hey Chihiro." I said.  
"Call me Fujisaki, and I-I think you should see the shit I found in the TrashRoom." She said. She took me to the Trash Room. "See anything unusual?"  
"You bet, there is no recycling section." I said.  
"So, you guys found all the evidence, head to the elevator. Bright red doors, can't miss it."

We all piled into the elevator. Everyone was trying to space themselves away from each other. I got to really thinking here. I only talked to Fukawa twice. I only talked to Sayaka once. And the thought that both were dead made me really sad. Fukawa loved to be an idol, and what will happen to the Maizono name? I promise myself, I will find Touko's killer, and the one who killed Sayaka. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Who killed the Idol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone died rip and hagakure has to save everyone which means everyone is going to die.

Hagakure was monologuing on the elevator ride to the trial. He tried to remember who died. 

"Eh... Someone will remember"

When the elevator stopped there was a loud ding, and the doors shot open. 

"W-W-W-WELCOME! The trial for Touko Fukawa, the Super High School Level Idol, will be underway. The rule is, if you can figure out the murderer, the killer will be executed. If you can't figure out who done it, I execute all of you, and I let the killer leave!" Monokuma said sitting on a throne. 

 

"I think Angela is the killer!" I yell starting the trial.  
"Who?" Hifumi asked.   
"It's a Sleepaway Camp joke. Anyway let's begin." I said.   
"Anyway, so we found Touko in the bathroom. She was stabbed twice, once in the chest, once in the back." Sakura said.   
"I think she was stabbed twice, when the killer jumped in the room." Mondo said.   
"MY GOOD FRIEND THAT IS AN INCORRECT STATEMENT" I yell and point at Mondo.   
"What the heckie do you mean?" Mondo said.  
"Hagakure and I found a blood trail by the nightstand. If I had to guess, she was stabbed in the chest at the entrance, and when she tried crawling away..." Aoi said.  
"She got stabbed again!" Leon said, finally looking like he got it. "But where does it get us?"   
"He's right, there is no other solidifying evidence." Ishimaru yelled.   
"Agreed" Hifumi said.   
"What about the symbols she wrote in her blood. 脂肪" Kyouko said.   
"Oh!" Mondo said.   
"Have you seen this before?" Naegi said.   
"Uh... Yeah... It's Japanese. For fat" Mondo said.   
Everyone looked at Hifumi.   
"W-Whoa! That is really offensive!!" Hifumi yelled "How do we know we aren't talking about Junko?!"   
"You bastard!" Junko yelled.  
"You have no evidence against me!" Hifumi yelled.   
"I fucking do." Fujisaki said.   
"W-What?!" Hifumi yelled.   
"It's a b-blue and orange tie. I found it in the trash room" Fujisaki said.  
"How could it possibly-? Someone planted it there!" Hifumi yelled!   
"Lemme think about this. So Hifumi broke into Touko's room, stabbed her in the chest. She tried to escape. So Hifumi stabbed her again in the back. He tried to dispose of his clothes but forgot to throw his tie in the trash. Is that, Yamada?" I said.   
"I... I... Uh... Yeah... I did it... I killed Touko..." Hifumi said.    
"Wow! You guys got it. Hifumi is the killer." Monokuma said. "Now it's time for the EX-A-CUTION!"  
"N-NO! EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Hifumi yelled dropping his backpack. "I'm a world famous model! You can't do this!" 

Monokuma hit a button with his hammer. 

**HIFUMI HAS BEEN FOUND AS THE KILLER. THE EXECUTION WILL NOW BEGIN!**

Hifumi was surrounded by various outfits. A pair of scissors were creeping behind him. He ran away as fast as he could. He was running on a large runaway, with monokumas in the audience taking pictures of him. When Hifumi reached the end of the runway, he fell into a spike trap. That was the last run of the Ultimate Fashionista, Hifumi Yamada.  
  


"That... was... AWESOME!" Monokuma said loudly.   
"Why is this happening to us..." Aoi said.   
"That was worst than the incident in Nevada..." Leon said.   
Junko started gagging. 

* * *

We all went back to our rooms. No one wanted to say anything. I never got sleep that night. All I could see was Hifumi's face as he fell on the spikes. I thought this was a comedy. 

"Morning Hagakure." Leon said as I walked into the kitchen the next morning. The only people in there were Leon, Celes, and Mukuro.   
"Mukuro, can't you use your fortune telling skill to see if anyone dies?" Celes asked.   
"I tried... It doesn't work like that." She replied.   
"Guys!" Junko yelled walking in. "The bars covering the stairs were removed, we can go up there now."   
"I don't like it, let's all go." Leon said. 

We walked up to the second floor. There were a few classrooms, plus a pool. As well as a library, which made Celes happy.

"Finally, some literature." Celes said.   
"Frankenstein? I won a original script in a game of poker for that film, the one from the 20s." Leon said.   
"You did?! You have to let me see it!" Celes said.  
"Heh, course!"  

* * *

 

The pool seemed to make Naegi happy. 

"I heard there is a pool, where is it?" Naegi said.   
"Look's like through these changing rooms. Be careful Naegi, don't want to end up like my swimming gay boys manga." Mondo said.  
"What?" I said.   
"Nothing."   
"So killing our friends got us a pool" I said.   
"Hagakure, we have to move on. I already miss them too." Naegi said.   
"Let's make a pack, we 3 will not kill anyone." Mondo said.  
"Ever." I said.  
We all put our hands in a circle and cheered loudly. Let's not let anyone else die.


	3. Free Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chracter devolpment before everyone dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for taking the time to read, now for meeting peeps that are alive
> 
> thanks ily

"Leon, how are you so calm about these people dying?" I asked the Gambler, who seemed so chill.   
"Hagakure my friend, I was in a game of Russian Roulette. with 5 bullets instead of 1." He said with a straight face.  
"0_0" I said.   
"H-Hey Celes!" Leon got up to greet Celes.   
"Oh h-hi Leon...!" She said turning a bit red.   
I chuckled a bit and left the two alone.

* * *

 

I walked over to the gym and found Ishimaru, Naegi, and Mondo. 

"Naegi come on do a few laps."  
"Hah, check this out!" Naegi jumped into the water and swam like a dolphin.   
"Why don't you take off your jacket?" Ishimaru asked.   
"I can't" Naegi said.   
"You see this is nice. Just chilling out and having a few laughs!" I said.

* * *

 

I left the group to go find Aoi and Kirigiri. 

"Sup you two." I said walking up to them.  
"Hey Hagakure, did you know Kirigri can hack into the CIA?" Aoi said.   
"Oh please, Aoi can wrestle a bear with ease." She said.   
I had a few laughs with the duo, and left to go see if anyone else was around.

* * *

 

I ran into Junko, Togami, and Mukuro.   
"You know how my predictions kind of work?" Mukuro said.   
"Go on." Togami said.  
"Well, I predicted how the next murder is going to place out." She said.   
"No damn way!" I yelled.   
"Don't fucking cuss." Junko said.   
"How does the murder go?" Togami asked.  
"All I get is 2 people fighting, and one overpowers the other. And the unlikely one lives." She said. 

* * *

I left because the conversation got a little dark.

I saw Chihiro on my way back to the cafeteria, but she scares me. 

"Something about you interests me." Leon said, looking into Celes's eyes.   
"I never flirted with a professional gambler before." Celes said.  
"Get a room." I said sitting down.   
"I'm going to go, Aoi wanted to see me. Bye Leon~" She said leaving.   
"You cockblock." Leon said.   
"Sorry dude, so you are going to date Celes?" I said.   
"Dude Celes is fantastic. Who is your girl?" Leon said.   
"Honestly, Aoi is kinda cute." I said. 

* * *

 

Leon and I talked girls for a while. After saying goodbye, I walked back to my room. As I was about to enter, I saw Sakura.  
  
"Hey Sakura, 'sup?" I said.   
"Hagakure, hello. Everything is wrong." She said.   
"What do you mean?" I said.   
"I don't know my title, everyone is so calm even after people die. I don't like it." She said. "I have to go, see you Hagakura."   
"Later!" I said walking back to my room.  
I walked into my room and got into bed. I had a dream of Hifumi's execution. I woke up before Monokuma's announcement. 

"Hey ya shit head chucklefucks, wake up and head down to the gym." Monokuma said.  
I walked into the gym, I noticed I was the last one.   
"Hey kiddos, time for a motive." Monokuma said.   
"Haven't you tortured us enough?" Ishimaru said.   
"Nope c: So if you look at your arm, there is a watch on it." Everyone looks down at their arm and acts surprised when they see the thing on there arm.   
"What is it for?" Mukuro said.   
"It's a bomb, if no one dies in the next hour, I will pull the trigger and you will blow up." Monokuma said.  
"No way, you need us, you won't kill us all." Junko said.   
"No it just blows off your arm." Monokuma said. "Are you willing to sacrifice your arm so no one will die?"   
"This is stupid, come on Junko, let's go to the kitchen and see if we can cut these bands off." Mukuro said.   
"No what if you kill me?!" Junko said.   
"Guys, where is Togami?" Naegi said.   
"Shit, come on Hagakure let's go find him." Leon said grabbing my arm and running. 

We ran out of the room and looked around the first floor to no avail. When we started walking upstairs, we saw the worst. Byakuya Togami, the Ultimate Soldier, was face down in a pool of his own blood on the stairs.

"Guys did you find-" Aoi walked up to us and saw Togami, she immediately screamed.

 


	4. Investigation and Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> togaimi died hagakure probably did it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how are you still reading this you need like 4 cookies man jk im full of myself ily

"Aoi please calm down!" Leon was trying to coax the girl. To be fair a dead body still isn't the norm.   
  


"Bing bong bong bong! A body has been discovered! Get to investigating and after a little time head to the trial room!" Monomkuma said.

"Why is the blood pink?" I ask.   
"Look!" Celes ran up and walked to the middle of the stairwell. "There is a splotch of blood here, maybe he was thrown..."   
"A soldier, thrown? Doubt it." Junko asked.   
"Try not to figure out the killer just yet, look for things out of the ordinary." Mondo said.   
"Hey guys look. There is a piece of Togami's jacket caught on this nail." Kirigiri pointed to the floor.   
"Have you guys not noticed this f-fucking hole in the wall." Fujisaki pointed to the hole in the wall.   
"I think I have an idea who did it." Sakura said.   
"This makes no sense, how could anyone kill Togami, he was a soldier." Mukuro said.   
"Your fortune." I said.   
"Huh?"  
"It said the next murder, the unlikely one won. So who doesn't match up to a soldier." I said.   
"Try not to think about it now, look for evidence." Kirigiri said.  
I looked at Aoi, she was on the ground cradling her knees.   
"Aoi hey, everything is going to be okay." I said.   
"How can it be Hagakure! Togami is dead... Who could be next?!" She said.   
"I will make sure it isn't you." I said.   
"Heh, you sound so cheesy." Aoi's smile was back.   
"Stop it right now, jesus." Junko said making me get up.   
"There doesn't seem to be any other evidence." Sakura said.  
"Wait, look here, it's a metal bat." Kirigiri says.   
I look at Ishimaru.   
"W-Wait hang on." He says.   
"You have the right to remain silent, I suggest you use it." Leon said.  
  


The remaining students piled into the elevator, hauntingly more roomy. Everyone stepped away from Ishimaru. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. 

"Welcome back! This Trial is held for the Super High School Level Solider, Byakuya Togami." Monokuma said as we all got into place.

"Do we need a trial? We know Ishimaru did it!" Kirigiri started.   
"It wasn't me!" Ishimaru said.   
"The yelling is really convincing." Junko said.   
"It is so obvious he is not the killer, look at the bat, there is not a single shed of blood, or a dent." Sakura said.   
"Maybe the killer washed it off?" Aoi asked.   
"I agree with Sakura, if there wasn't blood, why did he hide it." Leon said.   
"What did the killer plant it there?" I said.   
"Yes" Sakura agreed with me.   
"Where does it get us?" Mukuro said. "What really killed Togami?"  
"If I had an opinion, 's probably the fall on the stairs." Mondo said.   
"Was this an accident" Celes asked.   
"F-Fucking doubt it, look at the fucking hole. There was a fight, and the killer must of shoved Byakuya in the wall." Fujisaki said.   
"HOLD ON THERE FRIENDO THAT IS AN INCORRECT STATEMENT!" I shout.   
"What?!" Fujisaki yelled. I almost pissed myself in fear.   
"Well, what about the nail poking out of the ground, with Togami on the ground, shoving the killer in the wall." I said.   
"How do you know it was Togami's?" Naegi said.   
"Huh?" I said.   
"You must be the killer! How else did you know the piece of polyester was Togami's!" Naegi said.   
"He didn't. Kirigiri did." Leon said.   
"What? How could you think that?" Kirigiri said in defense.   
"There isn't evidence that could prove her to be the killer..." Naegi said.   
"There is, if the killer was shoved in the wall, he or she has to have a mark!" Ishimaru said.   
"Well, Programmer, we are waiting..." Mondo said.   
"... Fine..." Kirigiri lifted up her bangs, revealing a somewhat fresh scar.  
"Kirigiri... why...?" Naegi said, he looked crushed.   
"I needed my arms... I'm sorry." She said.

A slot machine appeared, each face lands on Kirigiri.   
"Woohoo! You guys figured out the killer again! Kyouko Kirigiri murdered Byakuya Togami."

Kirigiri opens her eyes, she is dragged away by an claw and taken to a dark room. Monokuma opens an ad and release dozens of viruses that travel inside Kirigiri's mouth and nose and ears. Kirigiri opens her eyes wide open and the viruses pop out of them. 

"I think I'm going to be sick-!" Aoi said.   
"Jesus... " Leon said.   
  


I couldn't even think. To see our friend murdered so brutally... 


	5. whoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> simple everyday life character growth and what not- OH MY GOD MURDER

"Alright, so here's how  **Schrödinger's cat** works," Leon is holding a pair of dice over a box in the Rec Room. After the third floor was opened, this was where the kids spent most of their time. "I put this die in the box and close it off. There, now, what number has the dice landed on?"   
"Uh, due to law of quantum physics, the die is all numbers plus no numbers because we can not possibly know." Hagakure said.   
"Dude what's on your hand."   
"Nothing."   
"Lemme see-"   
Leon and Hagakure wrestle a bit and Leon see's the answer on Hagakure's hand. Leon begins to laugh hysterically. Because there have been no murders in quite sometime, the remaining 11 students have grown closer as a result. 

Hagakure wakes up and does his usual contemplation of life, then thinks about the Rodeo Burger. That thing is fucking delicious, a burger with cheese and onion rings and barbuque sauce that thing is amazing. And then he gets dressed and meets the rest of the kids in the kitchen. The only people in there were Leon and Celes holding hands. 

"Yo Hiro not right now." Leon says with a wink. Hagakure was always the 3rd wheel when it came to them. As he walked out he ran into Naegi. 

"Yo watsup Makoto." Hiro said.   
"Hey Hagakure. Can I talk to you?"   
"Sure, as long as you promise not to murder me!" 

Hagakure and Naegi go to Naegi's room, once inside with the door locked, Naegi pulls out a knife. 

"Sorry Yasuhiro."   
"Naegi you broke your promise ;-;"  
"Shut up, Kirigiri is dead."   
"Naegi please, she chose to murder Byakuya."   
"I know, it was stupid and messes with our plan."   
"Plan?"   
"When we first woke up, Kirigiri and I formed a plan. We were going to convince Maizono to murder Leon in her room. We would swoop in later and kill Leon."  
"But Leon is a lot stronger than Maizono how does that make sense-"   
"Shut up"   
"Okay, Naegi please. We have had a great few weeks, don't destroy the peace."  
"Peace?!" Hagakure we live in a damn prison!"   
"I know but just- OH NO SPOOKY GHOST!" 

In the confusion Naegi turns around and Hagakure bursts out the door. 

Hoping to forget his traumatic expierence, Hagakure meets everyone for lunch. 

"Hagakure why are you crying?" Leon asked sitting down next to him.   
"EVERYTHING IS FINE NO REASON TO ASK?" Hagakure yells.   
"Dude I played Poker with The Thinker statue and won, I know when people lie, now what's wrong."   
"Naegi tried to kill me with a knife."   
Leons smile vanished. This caught the attention of the group.   
"That little guy did  **WHAT**?!" Mondo yelled. Who knew a weeb could be intimidating.  
"Where the fuck is that pussy I will beat the shit out of him." Fujisaki said with murder in her eyes.   
"I'll go check on him." Ishimaru said.   
"Well he's dead." Our brave hero Hagakure said. 

After a few minutes they all left. Hagakure, Leon, and Celes were in the rec room gambling.  
"Todays game is Baccert. Leon said pulling a deck of cards out of his jacket pocket  
"Oh I've heard of this. It was in that novel, Zero Escape." Celes said.   
"Bingo."   
As Leon shuffled the deck, a scream was heard from down the hall.   
"That sounded like Mukuro!" Celes said. 

The trio immediately ran downstairs. Mukuro was standing by the corpse of her sister, Junko.   
"N-no Mukuro please get up!" Mukuro said. 

Leon leaned over and whispered in Hagakures ear. "What's her talent again?"   
"Where's that little bastard Naegi." Mukuro said looking Hagakure in the eyes.   
"Look we dunno." Leon said.  
"Well FIND HIM!" Mukuro yelled pushing Leon. 

Hagakure was at a loss. He didn't know where to look or anything. That's when he went to Sakura. 

"Hey Sakura? We need your help. Naegi may have killed Junko.   
"He didn't." Sakura said with her back turned to Hagakure.   
"Huh?"   
Sakura turned to reveal Naegi in front of her. He was dead.  
"N-NAEGI?!"   
"Junko AND Naegi dead... This could be trouble."   
"Are we allowed to murder more than one person? Where is monokuma?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"   
"Hagakure, please. Now is a time to find answers."   
  


Sakura and Hagakure walk downstairs to Junko's body. Hagakure saw that Ishimaru was on the floor next to her with a katana in his back.   
"Where's Leon he owes me 5$" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back bby like comment and subscribe


	6. 's probably Hagakure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hagakure did it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hagakure is the murderer

**Hagakure:** Angela is the killer!

_I have taken the liberty of skipping investigation. Junko and Ishimaru were killed with blunt trauma to the head, while Naegi was killed with a knife.  That is all they could find. Well Sakura figured it all out and found evidence, our heroic protagonist got distracted._

**Sakura:** I believe I have concluded who did this-   
 **Chihiro:** Whoa hold the fuck up, rules state we cant fucking kill more than 2 damn people.   
 **Mukuro:** So shouldn't the killer be executed for breaking the rules?  
 **Sakura:** It means there are-   
 **Hagakure:** THERE ARE 2 KILLERS?!  
 **Aoi:** Where do we begin?  
 **Celes:** Well when you look at it, we have next to no evidence.   
 **Sakura:** I actually found plenty of evid-   
 **Leon:** WE do know that Ishimaru and Junko took blunt trauma to the head.   
 **Mondo:** As well as the knife in Naegi.   
 **Fujisaki:** I dont think we can figure this out.   
 **Sakura:** IF YOU LET ME SPEAK I CAN-   
 **Hagakure:** Well I guess we have to quit.   
 **Sakura:**  EVERYONE SHUT UP I KNOW WHO DID IT. FUJISAKI KILLED NAEGI AND MUKURO KILLED JUNKO AND ISHIMARU.  
 **Mukuro:** Well shit I have been figured out   
 **Chihiro:**  same tbh  
 **Leon:** Well that was easy, why?  
 **Mukuro:** Junko and I planned on killing Hagakure. Mukuro tried to betray me, so I killed her.   
 **Fujisaki:** Mondo, Ishimaru, and I also planned on murdering Hagakure, then Naegi tried to kill him, so we went after Naegi instead.  
 **Mondo:** I had no part in this.   
 **Chihiro:** shut the fuck up.  
 **Hagakure:** Im so glad everyone likes me.   
Aoi: **you guys are horribl  
Monokuma: **This trial is weird, execution time. 

 

_Mukuro and Fujisaki are executed._

**Monokuma:** All thats left is Leon, Hagakure, Celes, Aoi, Mondo, and Sakura.

 


	7. Finale maybe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who is all behind this

Monokuma got on stage, "Well well well, 5 of you left." 

Leon and Celes were standing behind our brave hero Hagakure, who was hiding behind Aoi. Sakura was to the right of the group, and Mondo was to the left. 

"Dude I don't think there are gonna be any murders." Leon said proudly.   
"I agree, none of us want to." Celes said.   
"Well you're right, but our next trial won't be for a murder, it's to figure out the mastermind." Monokuma said.   
"Are you saying, our last trial is to figure out who is behind all this?"  
"Thats what i literally just said you fucking stoner." Monokuma said. "Also its one of the students." Monokuma left.   
  


"O-One of us?" Aoi asked. 

This is the audience participation time:  
Comment **Stoner** if you think Yasuhiro Hagakure is behind this.  
Comment **Gangster Weeb** if you think Mondo Oowada is behind this.   
Comment **Whatever Aoi's talent** was for Aoi Asahina.   
Comment **Beefcake Detective** if you think Sakura Oogami was the mastermind.   
Comment **Hot Gambler** if Leon Kuwata is the mastermind  
Comment **Celestia Ludenberg** jesus I should write down the talents.

"So who did it." Leon asked.   
"It has to be one of us right? Everyone else is dead." Mondo said.   
"Actually there is one person-" Sakura tried saying.   
"It was probably Sakura because she never talks." Celes said.   
"Oh mother fucker-" Everyone began questioning Sakura. 

"Hey Hagakure?" Aoi asked Hagakure.   
"Sup?"  
"Remember our romance that sparked?" Aoi said.   
"Nah." Aoi slapped HAgakure. 

 

 **Monokuma:** Alright class trial.   
 **Celes:** Clearly Sakura.   
 **Sakura:** Actually its not one of us-   
 **Hagakure:** I don't think its one of us.   
 **Leon:** Not one of us?   
 **Sakura:** If you look at the executions there is one-  
 **HAgakure:**  If you look at the executions there is one that doesn't have a death.   
 **Sakura:** OH THERE IS ONE PLEASE EXPLAIN HAGAKURE  
 **Hagakure:** Uh-  
 **Sakura:** Mastermind is Sayaka MAizono.  
 **Mondo:** No way!  
 **Leon:** Lame.   
 **Sayaka:** You got me.   
 **LEon:** Wait seriously?!  
 **Celes:** That is a pretty lame twist.  
 **Mondo:**  Weaker than Shamalayn.  
 **Aoi:**  Who?  
Sayaka: You guys are dicks.   
 **HAgakure:** So we win right?   
 **Sakaya:** Wtf do you think. Your friends are dead, Sakura did all the work. Mondo idk, Leon and Celes fucked and fucked around with you, Aoi where were you in the last chapter.   
 **Aoi:** Who are you again.   
 **Sayaka:** This was supposed to be a good Talentswap.   
 **Leon:** Talentswap?   
 **Sayaka:** Yea, fanfiction that just trades around talents of you guys.   
 **Celes:**  How do you know this?  
 **Sayaka:** I have next to personality, I have to have something.   
 **Leon:** So what now?   
 **Sayaka:** Ima execute yall dumbasses  
 **Mondo:** No. 

 _Mondo stabs Maizono._  
  
 **Mondo:** Shit man lets get the fuck outta here. 

 

_And thus ends our story. Leon, Celes, Aoi, Sakura, Mondo, and our amazing hero Hagakure leave the school and never think about it again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you enjoyed this, I will write more soon for those that didn't mind me killing off 2 characters right away.


End file.
